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Broken Lens - Don't Take It Personal

Let me tell ya! Judgement is REAL. It use to bother me to my core when others talked about me and judged based off of the way I look. I consider myself to be a very beautiful woman. I have a curvaceous figure with a naturally small waistline. I also like to wear fashions that accentuate my curves, hence Jess Mi Boutique. So what could possibly be your assumption of me based off of that description? Well, there are certainly other assumptions I HAVE received. Here are some to name a few: promiscuous, dependent, dumb, and superficial. Yep, it gets that serious. I, personally, am a very accepting person. So when others did not accept me, I could not understand why. But it was through my journey to wholeness that revelation was birthed as to why I was perceived that way: broken lens.

When people judge without putting in effort to get to know you, understand that they are broken inside. There is something going on with them internally such as insecurities, past traumas, etc. Whatever the case may be, those broken areas make it nearly impossible for them to see you properly. We live in a corrupt world where the enemy runs loose. So there is brokenness all around us, even within ourselves. Regardless of the life you have, we all started out broken. Think about it, we came into this world crying. But by the grace of God for sending His son Jesus Christ, we do not have to stay that way. 

I understand that everyone has a first impression. But when your first impression is stemmed in negativity or "made up" facts, you have the choice to either sit in that, or seek truth. One of the things my pastor always says is, "Assume nothing and know everything." - Alex Davis. That means if you don't know something, ask questions and find out until you do. But unfortunately, not everyone is able to do that. It is from the place of wholeness where you're able to see someone for who they truly are. But one who is broken can only perceive you through their brokenness.

Being judged by others use to affect me so much that I would often over extend myself and befriend them just so they can see who I am and stop judging me erroneously. But after many exhausting attempts, they still viewed me the same way no matter what I did to appease them. Have you heard the song "Hate On Me" by Jill Scott? In the beginning of it she says, "If I could give you the world on a silver platter, would even matter? You'd still be mad at me. If I can find in all this, a dozen roses which I would give to you, you'd still be miserable." I never understood what she fully meant until I began giving my all and seeing that for myself. And in return I began to judge them back because brokenness is contagious, which is why you must guard your heart at all times and pay attention to who you allow in your circle (Proverbs 4:23). I soon realized I needed to not only separate, but separate in love. I had to love them in spite of themselves because they truly cannot see differently. That is why God says to love your enemies (Matthew 5:44) and always forgive them for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34). Because it's not them. It's not the amazing version God created them to be, but instead the brokenness that lies inside of them. And it is that same brokenness the enemy will feed on to break others. But only from the perspective of wholeness was I able to truly understand that. In fact, it was through wholeness that I soon began to delight myself in the persecution and insults of others (2 Corinthians 12:10). No longer holding them hostage in my mind for seeing me as negatively as they do, but instead loving them for where they are.

If you're reading this and have came to the conclusion that you subconsciously have a tendency to judge others, I encourage you to reflect and seek God for truth. No one has to know but you and Him. Think about the situations in your life that affected you and potentially created a broken area. Maybe past hurts make it hard for you to love and trust again. So when someone good comes into your life, you automatically assume they must be a cheater. And that is just one of many examples on how insecurities and brokenness can alter our perception of other people. 

I pray for God to open your eyes and you begin to see yourself in a light you've never seen before. Because we are all created in His image (Genesis 1:27) and fabulous!

Wearing our "Sweet Sunrise" Set. You can view this look here.


  • This is beautiful. I’m in a place right now where I am realizing that you must return love to people who may look at you with hate. Some people do judge, but we have to be strong enough to understand that it is because they have growing to do themselves. This is truly inspiring.

    Javoen Byrd
  • This is a great message Jessica. Some of us are born with more empathy for others and as a result we can suffer from other people not having that same ability. Learning to not cast judgement and forgive those who do is something I’m more aware of controlling as a mature adult. It takes work everyday though.

    Isiah Wilson
  • So true! Took me the greater part of 54 years to discover this. Thank you 🙏🏽 for this post.

    Angela C.

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